Time flows by...

... and I just pretend it doesn't.

Ah, I don't even know. I never know, I guess. But I still feel like it's worth pointing out. Is that weird? I don't know that either, what society thinks is weird or not.

I'm sitting inside all day, blaming it on oh so bad allergies while I'm actually just sneezing some more than usual; nothing that should actually prevent me from going. When people ask why I don't take anti-allergics I just say "I do, but they make me so nauseous I'd rather not". But with assignments overdue, exams coming nearer and group-projects to actually kick off, I'm forced to go more often again. I pretend I'm just a slacker and allergic to everything around on top of that, but it doesn't seem like many actually believe me. It shouldn't bother me. I've long decided I'm not part of that society, but yet... It's not like I can just say that and that's it. I need some kind of graduation or I won't be able to find a job. And a job's necessary, right? 

My subconsciousness even denies that fact. I could go and fake some chronic pain/severe mental disease anytime and get put somewhere where i don't need to care about money. Surely that can't be any type of Life I prefer, though. So I do need a job. 

Still I don't give a damn about getting through exams. I do what I do, if it's not enough, well, duh. Bad luck I guess? 

I don't want to think about it. So I don't. Time will go by... and forget about me perhaps? Just leave me sitting behind for all eternity, unbothered by time, change, society, everything. What a blissful vision.

Fell in love with this guys/gals style.

3 weeks since I last posted? Heh, it feels like it was just a few days ago.

Other people's lives completely changed into a new stage.. what'd I do? What did I accomplish? Near nothing. I started periodically uploading songs I like to youtube, got a DotA2 key and thought about making videos of me playing games and collected already ~15 smaller games I could play. Mostly good RPGmaker ones, also other smaller things with interesting themes. It might grow into something substantial... but eh, It's still me, so I don't believe in it already.

Oh, allKore Riot Kontrol 05 was last weekend, too. Great stuff. Was sure worth being awake all night. Some new DJs in comparison to last ARK, I like them. Youc an grab the sets fromtheir respective Soundclouds, as far as they've uploaded them yet. 

Also, Waiting for Hawken Playtest 04. This game is going to be amazing. If you're interested, sunday evening (for GMT+1 it's 2AM on monday) join #merveilles channel on irc.esper.net around that time to get the builds and servers to playtest. 

I ordered a FumoFumoChirno from amiami and the whole Biomega manga online, too. Can't wait for it to arrive. I might get the whole Blame! manga, too, but that one's a bit more expensive if I want it in english, retailers here don't have it at all. 

In case anyone wonders (yeah, right...) I started watching my food intake again. Although it mostly consists of instant iced coffee, bread rolls with honey and cookies, It'll at least keep me up and alive. I've also bought some Vitamin-supplement thing yesterday, maybe it changes something for the better for me, too. I'll just wait and see. 

Because that's all I ever do.